i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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