Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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