Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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