pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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