we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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