dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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