I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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