This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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