Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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