ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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