Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize