it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize