you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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