Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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