I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize