Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize