I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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