Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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