All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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