She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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