So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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