The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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