i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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