You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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