I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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