hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize