YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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