the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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