epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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