Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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