covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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