they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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