I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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