i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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