i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize