Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize