btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize