We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
worst night to have a conscience
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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