when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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