dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
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I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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