and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
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Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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