just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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