Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
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My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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