I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize