Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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