he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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