3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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