I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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