I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize