I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's just like the Real World with babies
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize