You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize