How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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