is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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